Daylight, Moonlight, Time to go home...

My body is missing the weekend, missing it in a visceral "What the fuck happened to those two days we usually have to be lazy and take naps and do nothing?!" way. I was away this weekend, which seemed to me like finally my body was joining my mind which has been away for a few weeks now. I went on a retreat with the awesomest artists I know. We went to Michigan, a place I've never been but reminded me of Hebron, Connecticut and the backroads of Maine - i.e. it felt like home but not...

Sometimes I feel like I am bubbling over with words (many of them cleverly turned phrases incorporating various swears) but lately the well has been empty, and I suddenly feel like a peripheral character in "Idocracy". Does this ever happen to you? A dearth of actual verbiage, a sudden swarm of small talk with no consistency. This is a long way to tell you that instead of me babbling on here today it will be yet another list-style post...

Daylight:
Mornings are longer lately, it takes me at least fifteen minutes of "back to sleep" time before I can drag myself to an upright position. I've been shivering most of the bike ride to work, although I refuse to give it up. And no, it's not because I have some outstanding environmental initiative burning away inside of me or even because I hate the CTA..Nope, its really, simply pure laziness, it takes me only ten minutes to get to work when I bike which means I have twenty extra minutes to lie in bed....

I remember autumn days when I was younger cocooned in the fall colors of the Northeast. Helping to rake the back yard but really just spreading the leaves everywhere by jumping into the piles we would rake together. Swaddled in an oversize sweatshirt of my mom's, lying in front of the fire while my brother and Dad shouted at football games. This time of year makes me nostalgic and lonely and I wouldn't give it up for the world.

Work has become less strenuous which, oddly enough makes me kind of nervous that maybe I'm just not giving it my all...but, no, I'm pretty sure I'm giving it all I can and I still heart it! I especially heart all of the folks I work with who are the most dynamic group of smarties I know, outside of Serendipity and Dave and I's magnificent brain trust, of course... We all have to make videos - to make our company's website more "Web 2.0" (which is a term that makes me laugh because really, 2.0??) And I was the first to go. Which I wasn't really aware of, I thought we would all make them and share in the peculiar experience of watching yourself on a computer monitor..but no...it was just me...And let me tell you nothing is more awkward than realizing that you are writ large across all of your co-workers monitors talking nonsense about how much you love your bike...I'm still blushing..

Moonlight:

Netflix is great! It is the best replacement for theatre I've ever found. All of a sudden I am watching more movies and mini-series and dorky documentaries then I thought I ever would! It is AWESOME!

Besides consuming mass quantities of BBC min-series and old Frontline episodes I've been seeing much more of the boy I heart then I was a month ago...and it is lovely! I get too much into my head unless I have someone around to pull me out and I missed him and getting to babble out the details of my day to him every night.

I found myself wandering around a hunting campground this weekend (Yay Serendipity retreat!) and looked up at the night sky and realized that it had been a good couple of years since I had seen stars. And I went through the whole thought process I always go through when I see them... "Stars are pretty, so vast so far away, they want me to think poetically, why can't I think poetically about stars? why can everyone else do it, I mean every other poem includes stars in some form or another, wow I love Stars the rock band, I can't wait to see them soon"...and so on until suddenly it stopped, the constant inner monologue ceased and I could just breathe and look at the sky and know that in that moment it was all good...

THINGS THAT ARE YAY!:

1. Being Loved- is great and I'm happy that more than ever I feel like the most loved Heather there is....totally cornball I know but, truly true!

2. Michigan- Perhaps my favorite Midwestern state, probably because it reminds me of the rural Northeast!

3. Being Part of Something- something bigger than myself, an art collective (like Broken Social Scene but better!) and we are going to change the world!